Wednesday, January 22, 2014


Now hitting dehati fantasies

Demands are evil. They are viral, contagious. Demands can be rigid when they come from stubborn, bored minds. There’s been a new category of demands these days in bolly-market: the dehati fantasies. And movies like Boss, yaariyan, etc have been catering those demands.

I am fever stricken while I write this, just after watching the movie – Yaariyan.  I am not here to criticize the movie but to speak ill about it.  I’ll spoil the movie if you’re genuinely interested in it or you haven’t watched it and are planning to watch this over weekend OR if you’re a dehati. Yes, dehatis, beware of this arty, it’s a spoiler for y’all.

The  storyline of the movie is based on a concrete strong plot. There’s an Australian businessman taking over a PART of an Indian property which has a college campus. The businessman plans to build casinos over his part of the campus. But. The patriotic princi of the college puts forth an argument that building casinos near to the college, which was a place to study, will badly influence the students. To this, the wise businessman argues that Indian students are book worms. They will not be affected by this for they are not interested in sports and cultural activities. [????? Wtf]. This argument is the base of the plot and also it is perplexing enough for the Indian princi to say that it is not so. Just by this tiny little negation, the competitiveness of the businessman is turned on and throws a mighty challenge.

The challenge is intriguing and bold enough to build a movie on it. The challenge is, if the Indian students defeat the Australians in a cultural cum sports competition, they would grant a lease of 100 years to that college. The challenge includes a rock competition, a bike race, a chess match, a cycle race and a deadly rock climbing competition.

Enough about the story. Infact, this is all about it. Lets go to the core.

·        What astonished me was the set used for the movie. The college had dorm like hostels with arrays of beds. The bathrooms are well lit and decorated with soothing , luxurious blue light fittings. The plumb fittings are too dear to be in hostel basins.  The mirrors are well bolted. 

·        The Girls hostel is so girly, so pink, that you feel a gust of respect for the director/set designer from deep down your ass. Whatever the plot be like, one must not question the femininity of the hostel or its girls.

·        They add funk to boys, glamour to girls and humor to the movie in the most cinematic manner. It makes me wonder whether I lived a boring college life or I was just a no-boy to the things happening in my insti. 

·        Never ever forget that the tensile strength of a blouse is always, atleast equal to the weight of the person.

·        The library. They have racks of books. Unsupported. Unbolted.  Yes, just like that. To ice the cake, they also use ladders for the upper shelves. This aint funny, man.  This is retard. Not even close to farce. 

·        The highest geek level of the college, who is supposed to have a brain faster than a computer is ‘market mein naya intel ka chip aya hai, HIGH CONFIGURATION, SSD Hard drive, multiple core’. Cheers to that! 

·        And yeah, since the town has branded shops like olfactory, belmonte and was big enough to invest money for casino, the university's annual function had audience of around 80-100 people. Isn’t it conflicting your brains?

·        You get to land DIRECTLY to Australian beach when you fly to Australia. And the two oily geek chotis transform to stylized stepped cut hairstyle when you hit alcohol.

The princi, he’s an interesting character. The character is played by Gulshan Grover. [The God does show days, doesn’t he ?]. following qualities are noteworthy about the princi.
  • 1.     Patriotic.
His heart is sawed when he confronts the comment – Indian students are book worms, they are not interested in sports or cultural activities.
  • 2.     He is wise. Extremely.
He finds success chances from a girl who has a failed singer for a mother. Why ? coz, no one knows the bitterness of a failure than a kid who has a mother who failed at it. He finds a ray of hope from a biker. Why ? Coz the professors donot know what a bike can do and only that guy knows the function of a bike. He makes a guy the leader of their team. Why ? coz his father was a brigadier. Like leadership is transmitted genetically.

Dialogues _/\_.  You can FEEL if some on \e is eavesdropping your jamming session (mujhe laga ki koi hume sun rha hai) If that’s not brainless enough, that Canada girl’s dialogue when she was waiting for being kissed by the main guy at the back stage. (kaha gaye yeh log ?); like, she knows his friend was gonna behold them kissing. Let the logic flush down the toilet.

Extravagant story to fit to the plot. The driver of the bike doesnot remember the most crucial race direction. It also includes the symbolism in flashback remembrances of the dead bestie of main guy. The kites show Indian and Australian flags. Like the audience is vigilant enough to notice such down trodden symbolism. You go for rock climbing wearing track pants and full sleeve tees; not that you're ignorant. You already showed your knowledge and professionalism in cycle and bike races, rock competition. Why such unnecessarily pathetic, emotional winning stroke ?

And the last entertainer was
And the main thing is "The most difficult job on earth is to be a mother and one of the most toughest jobs in the world is to direct a film. And I was doing both
                                                                                                  … Divya khosla kr.

To divya,
You went full retard woman  
Never go full retard.